Fic: Passing of Time
Mar. 18th, 2006 01:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
libra_travellerTitle: Passing of Time
Author: libra_traveller
Rating: PG
Warning: Character Death
Pairing: Rodney/John
Summary: When grief consumes, there are others who will pull you through.
ETA: Thoroughly edited March 12, 2008. In other words I fixed the tense problems, now all in past tense, and I decided to change it so that from the beginning you know who's dead.
It was a chilly night in the city of Atlantis. John, Rodney, Elizabeth, and Teyla nervously sat outside the infirmary doors, waiting for news of Aiden. They hoped that soon they'd be able to visit him. It had already been three hours and their bodies now felt lethargic, missing the former rush of nervous energy. John and Rodney leaned against the wall, standing near one another. Teyla and Elizabeth sat apart. The door softly opened to reveal a disheveled Carson with his face downcast. John held Elizabeth and Rodney Teyla as they both started crying. Carson turned away back to the body and covered it with a white sheet. Only then did he allow himself to break down, two nurses helping him to his office.
A half hour later when Teyla and Elizabeth were helped to their separate quarters, John and Rodney returned to the infirmary. Tentatively they walked towards the covered bed where their friend lay. Nervously Rodney reached out to remove the sheet but John gripped his wrist painfully. After a shared look, John let Rodney lift the sheet. It was undoubtedly Aiden, but the face looked nothing like him. Pale and cold, it lacked life. Their friend had moved on. John’s knees gave out and Rodney helped him to sit in a nearby chair. John put his head down on his knees, Rodney wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Shaken, Carson came out to return the sheet and pull the curtain around the bed. He sat with the two men, trying to offer them strength when he himself had little.
Elizabeth had dressed for bed and lay under the covers. She couldn’t stop her body's trembles and eventually gave up, sobbing into her pillow. She hopelessly pleaded to God to bring him back, to stop taking away her friends and her people. She even tried to say goodbye to Aiden but found it too hard, too soon. She sighed, slowly drifting into a dreamless sleep.
Teyla sat on her bed with a wooden box in her hands. She opened it and picked out each belonging, a memento of all her lost loved ones. Soon she would find something to remember Aiden by and place it in the box with the others. Closing the box she leaned against the walls with her knees pulled up to her chest, crying silent tears.
The people in the rest of the city, having heard the news from the nurses, were in different states of loss. Some openly grieved while others were still shocked and disbelieving. None of them rested well that night.
***
The following morning arrangements were made for an early evening funeral. Time was spent transporting all the people who wished to attend to the mainland. John continuously flew one of the puddle-jumpers with the passengers as a means to stay busy. Teyla spoke to her people in preparation for the unique ceremony. Elizabeth stood pacing in her office, working on a speech. Rodney sat in his room, confused and distraught, not knowing what he should do. Carson finished checking the body and securing it for travel.
***
All the soldiers and officers were dressed in their uniforms, the rest of the personnel in their most formal outfits. The Athosians wore white as was their custom. On the ground near the shoreline sat a wooden raft with the body of their befallen hero lying serenely. In time his body would be set on fire and pushed gently out to sea.
As commander of the expedition, Elizabeth Weir walked in front of the crowd. "Lieutenant Aiden Grant Ford was a friend to many of us here. He was an officer of the United States Marines and a member of the Atlantis Expedition. As second in command of the military and the premier off-world team, he was given the opportunity to discover and explore the Pegasus Galaxy while serving his people and friends in an endeavor to keep them safe. I will miss him dearly." She stepped back.
Major John Sheppard, as both team leader and the commander of the military on Atlantis, spoke. "Ford was an honest and courageous man. It was an honor to serve with him and a pleasure to have him as a friend. It won't be the same without him." Unable to continue, he closed his mouth, blinking quickly.
Doctor Rodney McKay walked forward. "The Lieutenant was an idiotic, fool-hardy, wear his emotions on his sleeve sort of guy. He had my respect from the beginning and I only wish we make him proud as we continue on this adventure."
Teyla Emmagan moved to address her people. "Aiden Ford was a great warrior with a passionate heart. He had a childish love for 'thrills' but his mind was always steady. His duty to protect all of us was taken seriously, yet he was also concerned for our spirit and refused to allow any of us to exist in constant fear and hate. We shall continue to learn from him and the impact he has made on all of our lives."
Doctor Carson Beckett took his turn. "We didn't always get along, but I knew he had a taste and soul for this kind of life. He was always scared when any of his team was injured, always relieved when they made it through. I'll miss him."
At Dr. Weir's nod, Halling stepped up to the raft with a torch. He lit the flammable fabric that wrapped the body. Before the fire could rise too high, soldiers came forward and lifted the raft, walking out in the water a ways before setting it down. Gently they pushed it forward, the waves taking it away.
***
John left the transportation to the others, taking the first flight back to Atlantis with his team, or what was left of it. A wake was planned for the next day. Rodney walked with him to his quarters before saying good night. John asked Rodney to come in for a moment. After the door shut John hesitantly asked him to stay with him for the night. They fell asleep on separate sides of the bed and woke holding on to each other, struggling through their tears as they remembered that Aiden Ford was dead.
The afternoon was warm, even with the sun hidden by clouds. Lt. Aiden Ford's team were in his quarters, slowly sifting through his belongings, deciding what they wished to keep and where to take the rest. John mournfully grabbed onto Ford's dog-tags. Teyla held his favorite shirt. Rodney had Aiden's cap between his hands, rubbing his thumb against its rim. Only a few other items were in his room, no one able to bring much to Atlantis. A shawl that one of the Athosian women crocheted for him lay on his bed. Teyla picked up the bird pin that was used for decoration. She decided that it would go in her box of memories. Slowly they finished and exited the room, carrying their mementos of the man.
They had put it off for as long as possible, but they still had to write up a report for that last mission. Still had to put into words each agonizing detail that led up to Ford being shot protecting Major Sheppard from an assassination attempt. Another planet with secret affiliations to the Genii. Another planet they would never be visiting again. John and Rodney met outside Dr. Weir's office, both prepared to turn in the report that tormented them all day. They barely acknowledged each other, carefully placing the paper on her desk. They rarely printed out their reports, but this mission seemed important enough for the extra effort. Dr. Weir wasn't there, so they left as silently as they entered.
There was a room that Aiden Ford liked to practice fighting in. It was on the other side of the city from their gym. Over time other soldiers had joined him to practice sparring. Mostly the place was used for meditation, stretches, or letting out steam. The wake was going to be held here, the room that spoke the most of his presence. A table had been put to the side of the wall, covered in a buffet of food. Everyone who could trickled through the door. For the most part people stood awkwardly. This was a celebration of Aiden's life, but no one knew what to do or how to speak of someone they still expected to pass in the hall. It had been like that for every wake they’d had since coming to Atlantis. Rodney entered carrying speakers and an ipod of all things. It held Aiden's music and Rodney turned it on without so much as a 'hi'. Immediately after setting it up, he walked to the table and helped himself to the food. People laughed at his antics, the mood lightened incredibly.
John sat in a chair staring vacantly at the wall with a dent in it. Ford had punched a hole in the wall after the event when their puddle jumper had been stuck in the gate. Of course he broke his fist as well. Carson walked over to John and looked at the same wall. "38 stitches."
"I thought he only needed twelve."
"Yeah, but then he fell on it trying to chase you when you hobbled out of the infirmary. Your great escape that was." Carson squeezed John's shoulder then moved away to join the others.
Rodney brought John a tray of food. "Ford would want you to eat. He'd want to hear how terrible the food tastes. He'd want to see you smile when I counter saying it's delicious even if I know it's crap."
"Yeah. So why do you eat it with such relish?" John picked at the food with his fingers, putting a small piece in his mouth and grimacing.
"Ah. It's just food, and I do that mostly to annoy anyone that's around me. Besides, it doesn't taste that bad to me." At John's incredulous expression, Rodney hastened to explain. "A few years ago, messing with some experiment, I got myself electrocuted. My taste buds were never the same." He hastily chewed some food.
John turned to look up in Rodney's face, showing interest. "That must’ve hurt."
"Not so much." Rodney shrugged. "It knocked me unconscious and when I woke up I felt absurdly numb." He grabbed a chair and sat next to John, a little closer than he normally would. "I really miss him. He would've had a wonderful joke for me about that. Probably would’ve tried to call me Electroman, or something else entirely cheesy."
John turned his head down, staring at the plate, tears in his eyes. He thought he had cried all he could that very morning. He had the sudden odd desire to ask Carson how fast tear ducts work. Rodney saw John desperately trying to hold himself together and placed his hand on his thigh, patting it. John smiled in thanks. "I don't know how I'm going to go through that gate without him. How I'm supposed to adjust to having a new second in command. I don't know what to do. I've lost other team members, but after that I always took some time off to mourn, to get myself back together. Here I won't have that luxury. Weir needs me out there and I don't know if I can." John wiped the tears away in frustration.
Teyla drifted in front of them. "Together. We'll continue on together. All the soldiers in Atlantis felt a connection to Ford. No matter who you decide to take his role, we will all have the Lieutenant's spirit and memories with us to guide our way."
"Thanks." John gripped her hand. Then she drifted around the room. People always drift away. John shook his head and gave Rodney a tight smile. Then he frowned when he realized that Rodney was crying, one hand covering his face. John wrapped his arms around Rodney and held him tight. "What's the matter? God, I'm being stupid. Everything's so messed up right now. Sshh. We'll be okay. We have to be. Teyla's right. Together we can work through this. Rodney?"
Rodney's shoulders shook. "I'm sorry, it's just... when my mom killed herself the priest told us that people who commit suicide tend to spend all of their time in hell. That we wouldn't have her spirit with us... and I just." He couldn't help it and started to openly sob. John could only hold on tight. Carson who had been nearby kneeled down and rubbed Rodney's back. Once Rodney quieted, he felt drained. Opening red, itchy eyes, he saw everyone around him, and all the concern they projected. It was too much. "I need some air." And then he was up and leaving the room, heading to the first balcony he could find.
Ten minutes later John finally found him gripping the railing hard while breathing in great gasps of cold air. John wasn't sure what to say, or even how to comfort him with something that must have happened when Rodney was a child. The adult Rodney would never listen to a priest damning his mother. "Hey." That was all he could manage before he saw Rodney's knees give out. John rushed to hold him up. When Rodney regained his equilibrium and could breathe easier, they walked back into the warm hallway. John led the way to Rodney's quarters, being the closest. Opening the door with a weary thought, he practically carried Rodney into the room. Rodney sat on the bed, limbs limp, eyes almost empty in a way that scared John. "You need to rest."
Rodney blinked life back into his eyes, but they were almost panicked. "Don't leave. Please don't leave. I'll see her face, so pale, her hand still holding that damn empty bottle. I don't want to remember that. I don't want to see her face suddenly turn into Ford's with a bullet in his chest. I can't, I just can't be alone right now." John hugged him.
He stayed with him just like Rodney had the night previously. They lay side by side, not as far apart as before. John lay on his back, looking up into the unfamiliar, yet same plain ceiling as the one in his room. Unexpectedly he felt Rodney touch his shoulder. He felt Rodney lean forward.
Rodney moved to bestow his thanks as a kiss on the cheek. Instead, John moved his head and Rodney's lips ended up on John's mouth. The soft gentle feeling began to mend something inside them both, the kiss deepening. Tears fell down both their faces, running down their mouths and mingling as they shared their grief and affection. They slept curled up together, slight smiles gracing their faces. Their dreams shone with the beautiful memories of friendship.
Author: libra_traveller
Rating: PG
Warning: Character Death
Pairing: Rodney/John
Summary: When grief consumes, there are others who will pull you through.
ETA: Thoroughly edited March 12, 2008. In other words I fixed the tense problems, now all in past tense, and I decided to change it so that from the beginning you know who's dead.
It was a chilly night in the city of Atlantis. John, Rodney, Elizabeth, and Teyla nervously sat outside the infirmary doors, waiting for news of Aiden. They hoped that soon they'd be able to visit him. It had already been three hours and their bodies now felt lethargic, missing the former rush of nervous energy. John and Rodney leaned against the wall, standing near one another. Teyla and Elizabeth sat apart. The door softly opened to reveal a disheveled Carson with his face downcast. John held Elizabeth and Rodney Teyla as they both started crying. Carson turned away back to the body and covered it with a white sheet. Only then did he allow himself to break down, two nurses helping him to his office.
A half hour later when Teyla and Elizabeth were helped to their separate quarters, John and Rodney returned to the infirmary. Tentatively they walked towards the covered bed where their friend lay. Nervously Rodney reached out to remove the sheet but John gripped his wrist painfully. After a shared look, John let Rodney lift the sheet. It was undoubtedly Aiden, but the face looked nothing like him. Pale and cold, it lacked life. Their friend had moved on. John’s knees gave out and Rodney helped him to sit in a nearby chair. John put his head down on his knees, Rodney wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Shaken, Carson came out to return the sheet and pull the curtain around the bed. He sat with the two men, trying to offer them strength when he himself had little.
Elizabeth had dressed for bed and lay under the covers. She couldn’t stop her body's trembles and eventually gave up, sobbing into her pillow. She hopelessly pleaded to God to bring him back, to stop taking away her friends and her people. She even tried to say goodbye to Aiden but found it too hard, too soon. She sighed, slowly drifting into a dreamless sleep.
Teyla sat on her bed with a wooden box in her hands. She opened it and picked out each belonging, a memento of all her lost loved ones. Soon she would find something to remember Aiden by and place it in the box with the others. Closing the box she leaned against the walls with her knees pulled up to her chest, crying silent tears.
The people in the rest of the city, having heard the news from the nurses, were in different states of loss. Some openly grieved while others were still shocked and disbelieving. None of them rested well that night.
***
The following morning arrangements were made for an early evening funeral. Time was spent transporting all the people who wished to attend to the mainland. John continuously flew one of the puddle-jumpers with the passengers as a means to stay busy. Teyla spoke to her people in preparation for the unique ceremony. Elizabeth stood pacing in her office, working on a speech. Rodney sat in his room, confused and distraught, not knowing what he should do. Carson finished checking the body and securing it for travel.
***
All the soldiers and officers were dressed in their uniforms, the rest of the personnel in their most formal outfits. The Athosians wore white as was their custom. On the ground near the shoreline sat a wooden raft with the body of their befallen hero lying serenely. In time his body would be set on fire and pushed gently out to sea.
As commander of the expedition, Elizabeth Weir walked in front of the crowd. "Lieutenant Aiden Grant Ford was a friend to many of us here. He was an officer of the United States Marines and a member of the Atlantis Expedition. As second in command of the military and the premier off-world team, he was given the opportunity to discover and explore the Pegasus Galaxy while serving his people and friends in an endeavor to keep them safe. I will miss him dearly." She stepped back.
Major John Sheppard, as both team leader and the commander of the military on Atlantis, spoke. "Ford was an honest and courageous man. It was an honor to serve with him and a pleasure to have him as a friend. It won't be the same without him." Unable to continue, he closed his mouth, blinking quickly.
Doctor Rodney McKay walked forward. "The Lieutenant was an idiotic, fool-hardy, wear his emotions on his sleeve sort of guy. He had my respect from the beginning and I only wish we make him proud as we continue on this adventure."
Teyla Emmagan moved to address her people. "Aiden Ford was a great warrior with a passionate heart. He had a childish love for 'thrills' but his mind was always steady. His duty to protect all of us was taken seriously, yet he was also concerned for our spirit and refused to allow any of us to exist in constant fear and hate. We shall continue to learn from him and the impact he has made on all of our lives."
Doctor Carson Beckett took his turn. "We didn't always get along, but I knew he had a taste and soul for this kind of life. He was always scared when any of his team was injured, always relieved when they made it through. I'll miss him."
At Dr. Weir's nod, Halling stepped up to the raft with a torch. He lit the flammable fabric that wrapped the body. Before the fire could rise too high, soldiers came forward and lifted the raft, walking out in the water a ways before setting it down. Gently they pushed it forward, the waves taking it away.
***
John left the transportation to the others, taking the first flight back to Atlantis with his team, or what was left of it. A wake was planned for the next day. Rodney walked with him to his quarters before saying good night. John asked Rodney to come in for a moment. After the door shut John hesitantly asked him to stay with him for the night. They fell asleep on separate sides of the bed and woke holding on to each other, struggling through their tears as they remembered that Aiden Ford was dead.
The afternoon was warm, even with the sun hidden by clouds. Lt. Aiden Ford's team were in his quarters, slowly sifting through his belongings, deciding what they wished to keep and where to take the rest. John mournfully grabbed onto Ford's dog-tags. Teyla held his favorite shirt. Rodney had Aiden's cap between his hands, rubbing his thumb against its rim. Only a few other items were in his room, no one able to bring much to Atlantis. A shawl that one of the Athosian women crocheted for him lay on his bed. Teyla picked up the bird pin that was used for decoration. She decided that it would go in her box of memories. Slowly they finished and exited the room, carrying their mementos of the man.
They had put it off for as long as possible, but they still had to write up a report for that last mission. Still had to put into words each agonizing detail that led up to Ford being shot protecting Major Sheppard from an assassination attempt. Another planet with secret affiliations to the Genii. Another planet they would never be visiting again. John and Rodney met outside Dr. Weir's office, both prepared to turn in the report that tormented them all day. They barely acknowledged each other, carefully placing the paper on her desk. They rarely printed out their reports, but this mission seemed important enough for the extra effort. Dr. Weir wasn't there, so they left as silently as they entered.
There was a room that Aiden Ford liked to practice fighting in. It was on the other side of the city from their gym. Over time other soldiers had joined him to practice sparring. Mostly the place was used for meditation, stretches, or letting out steam. The wake was going to be held here, the room that spoke the most of his presence. A table had been put to the side of the wall, covered in a buffet of food. Everyone who could trickled through the door. For the most part people stood awkwardly. This was a celebration of Aiden's life, but no one knew what to do or how to speak of someone they still expected to pass in the hall. It had been like that for every wake they’d had since coming to Atlantis. Rodney entered carrying speakers and an ipod of all things. It held Aiden's music and Rodney turned it on without so much as a 'hi'. Immediately after setting it up, he walked to the table and helped himself to the food. People laughed at his antics, the mood lightened incredibly.
John sat in a chair staring vacantly at the wall with a dent in it. Ford had punched a hole in the wall after the event when their puddle jumper had been stuck in the gate. Of course he broke his fist as well. Carson walked over to John and looked at the same wall. "38 stitches."
"I thought he only needed twelve."
"Yeah, but then he fell on it trying to chase you when you hobbled out of the infirmary. Your great escape that was." Carson squeezed John's shoulder then moved away to join the others.
Rodney brought John a tray of food. "Ford would want you to eat. He'd want to hear how terrible the food tastes. He'd want to see you smile when I counter saying it's delicious even if I know it's crap."
"Yeah. So why do you eat it with such relish?" John picked at the food with his fingers, putting a small piece in his mouth and grimacing.
"Ah. It's just food, and I do that mostly to annoy anyone that's around me. Besides, it doesn't taste that bad to me." At John's incredulous expression, Rodney hastened to explain. "A few years ago, messing with some experiment, I got myself electrocuted. My taste buds were never the same." He hastily chewed some food.
John turned to look up in Rodney's face, showing interest. "That must’ve hurt."
"Not so much." Rodney shrugged. "It knocked me unconscious and when I woke up I felt absurdly numb." He grabbed a chair and sat next to John, a little closer than he normally would. "I really miss him. He would've had a wonderful joke for me about that. Probably would’ve tried to call me Electroman, or something else entirely cheesy."
John turned his head down, staring at the plate, tears in his eyes. He thought he had cried all he could that very morning. He had the sudden odd desire to ask Carson how fast tear ducts work. Rodney saw John desperately trying to hold himself together and placed his hand on his thigh, patting it. John smiled in thanks. "I don't know how I'm going to go through that gate without him. How I'm supposed to adjust to having a new second in command. I don't know what to do. I've lost other team members, but after that I always took some time off to mourn, to get myself back together. Here I won't have that luxury. Weir needs me out there and I don't know if I can." John wiped the tears away in frustration.
Teyla drifted in front of them. "Together. We'll continue on together. All the soldiers in Atlantis felt a connection to Ford. No matter who you decide to take his role, we will all have the Lieutenant's spirit and memories with us to guide our way."
"Thanks." John gripped her hand. Then she drifted around the room. People always drift away. John shook his head and gave Rodney a tight smile. Then he frowned when he realized that Rodney was crying, one hand covering his face. John wrapped his arms around Rodney and held him tight. "What's the matter? God, I'm being stupid. Everything's so messed up right now. Sshh. We'll be okay. We have to be. Teyla's right. Together we can work through this. Rodney?"
Rodney's shoulders shook. "I'm sorry, it's just... when my mom killed herself the priest told us that people who commit suicide tend to spend all of their time in hell. That we wouldn't have her spirit with us... and I just." He couldn't help it and started to openly sob. John could only hold on tight. Carson who had been nearby kneeled down and rubbed Rodney's back. Once Rodney quieted, he felt drained. Opening red, itchy eyes, he saw everyone around him, and all the concern they projected. It was too much. "I need some air." And then he was up and leaving the room, heading to the first balcony he could find.
Ten minutes later John finally found him gripping the railing hard while breathing in great gasps of cold air. John wasn't sure what to say, or even how to comfort him with something that must have happened when Rodney was a child. The adult Rodney would never listen to a priest damning his mother. "Hey." That was all he could manage before he saw Rodney's knees give out. John rushed to hold him up. When Rodney regained his equilibrium and could breathe easier, they walked back into the warm hallway. John led the way to Rodney's quarters, being the closest. Opening the door with a weary thought, he practically carried Rodney into the room. Rodney sat on the bed, limbs limp, eyes almost empty in a way that scared John. "You need to rest."
Rodney blinked life back into his eyes, but they were almost panicked. "Don't leave. Please don't leave. I'll see her face, so pale, her hand still holding that damn empty bottle. I don't want to remember that. I don't want to see her face suddenly turn into Ford's with a bullet in his chest. I can't, I just can't be alone right now." John hugged him.
He stayed with him just like Rodney had the night previously. They lay side by side, not as far apart as before. John lay on his back, looking up into the unfamiliar, yet same plain ceiling as the one in his room. Unexpectedly he felt Rodney touch his shoulder. He felt Rodney lean forward.
Rodney moved to bestow his thanks as a kiss on the cheek. Instead, John moved his head and Rodney's lips ended up on John's mouth. The soft gentle feeling began to mend something inside them both, the kiss deepening. Tears fell down both their faces, running down their mouths and mingling as they shared their grief and affection. They slept curled up together, slight smiles gracing their faces. Their dreams shone with the beautiful memories of friendship.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
on 2006-04-27 01:10 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-04-27 02:26 am (UTC)