Fic: Find Me
Jun. 1st, 2006 06:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
libra_travellerTitle: Find Me
Author: libra_traveller
Rating: G
Pairing: John and Rodney
Summary: John freaks out and leaves Atlantis, Rodney goes after him.
Author's Note: The four drabbles as one story
I don’t know where to begin. My life has been crazy for a couple years now. You’re the only thing that keeps me sane. The simple moments we spend together are precious to me. We just chat about silly things. It keeps me calm, makes up for the times where everything is hectic and we’re this close to dying.
There are the quiet times when we’re together, just being, that mean the most to me. We don’t do anything and we don’t have to speak, we know instinctively what the other is thinking or feeling and we can just enjoy the comfort of silence.
The hurried times when I’m panicking, you’re always there to ground me. Every time I look into your eyes, thinking it’s the end, I want to freak out, but knowing you’re there with me, I’m content.
When you’re not there, and it’s just me, I hurt all the more. Without you I’m not strong enough for the things life here throws at us. Without you, I don’t feel like me. So you have to come back. I need you so much. Please come back.
***
This sucks. I wish that I hadn’t had my freak out while the Daedalus was near Earth, then maybe they could have dragged my sorry behind back to Atlantis. The way things are now, I’m in a Puddle-Jumper between the stars trying to figure out why all of a sudden I couldn’t take it anymore and just had to leave.
It’s not like things had spiraled out of control or anything. Actually, everything was perfectly normal, nothing bad happening, nothing to take care of. Nothing, just waiting for it to all go wrong. That’s when I snapped. I couldn’t stand the waiting, I couldn’t stand it at all.
I’m not like you. I don’t know how to panic when necessary and be calm when everything’s okay. Instead I’m calm all the time. No matter what’s happening, I’m perfectly calm and reasonable and I know who to go to for help. And that’s usually you. But see that’s the problem, for someone who’s always calm, there comes a time when, well, you lose it like I did.
Here alone in space, the only thing I’m really missing is you. I’m missing your eccentricities, and the way your face lights up when you discover something. I liked spending time with you every day, and now I’m away, and I don’t have you. I don’t understand what went through my mind when I voluntarily left you. But I can’t come back, not for you, because things are going to be the same if I return, and I don’t know if I can be that calm person again.
***
That is it. No more waiting. It has been three days, plenty of time for him to have his little freak out or what not. I have been tracking his Jumper ever since he left; don’t think I haven’t learned since Ford. So I know where he is and have a vague idea where he must be heading. Silly him that planet he is nearing has a gate, so I’ll be there waiting before he even arrives.
Now I may have pulled Ford’s own move in heading to that planet, and I hated Elizabeth’s pained look on my way out, but she has to understand that I’m getting him back, for everyone, for Atlantis, and for me.
***
Oh my god. He came for me. I know it is him. What am I going to say? I still don’t know what made me leave in the first place. How could he forgive me for leaving him? How am I even going to get out of this seat, I feel like lead is weighing me down, with either fear or relief, I can’t tell.
Here he comes, standing in front of the Jumper and yelling at me. God he looks so pissed and hopeful. I don’t move, but I open up the back. He runs around and enters. I stand up and turn to look at him. He stands there for a second just staring. Then I’m running to him and hugging him, kissing his face.
“I’m so sorry. I’ll never leave again. I promise.”
“I believe you. Let’s go home.”
Author: libra_traveller
Rating: G
Pairing: John and Rodney
Summary: John freaks out and leaves Atlantis, Rodney goes after him.
Author's Note: The four drabbles as one story
I don’t know where to begin. My life has been crazy for a couple years now. You’re the only thing that keeps me sane. The simple moments we spend together are precious to me. We just chat about silly things. It keeps me calm, makes up for the times where everything is hectic and we’re this close to dying.
There are the quiet times when we’re together, just being, that mean the most to me. We don’t do anything and we don’t have to speak, we know instinctively what the other is thinking or feeling and we can just enjoy the comfort of silence.
The hurried times when I’m panicking, you’re always there to ground me. Every time I look into your eyes, thinking it’s the end, I want to freak out, but knowing you’re there with me, I’m content.
When you’re not there, and it’s just me, I hurt all the more. Without you I’m not strong enough for the things life here throws at us. Without you, I don’t feel like me. So you have to come back. I need you so much. Please come back.
***
This sucks. I wish that I hadn’t had my freak out while the Daedalus was near Earth, then maybe they could have dragged my sorry behind back to Atlantis. The way things are now, I’m in a Puddle-Jumper between the stars trying to figure out why all of a sudden I couldn’t take it anymore and just had to leave.
It’s not like things had spiraled out of control or anything. Actually, everything was perfectly normal, nothing bad happening, nothing to take care of. Nothing, just waiting for it to all go wrong. That’s when I snapped. I couldn’t stand the waiting, I couldn’t stand it at all.
I’m not like you. I don’t know how to panic when necessary and be calm when everything’s okay. Instead I’m calm all the time. No matter what’s happening, I’m perfectly calm and reasonable and I know who to go to for help. And that’s usually you. But see that’s the problem, for someone who’s always calm, there comes a time when, well, you lose it like I did.
Here alone in space, the only thing I’m really missing is you. I’m missing your eccentricities, and the way your face lights up when you discover something. I liked spending time with you every day, and now I’m away, and I don’t have you. I don’t understand what went through my mind when I voluntarily left you. But I can’t come back, not for you, because things are going to be the same if I return, and I don’t know if I can be that calm person again.
***
That is it. No more waiting. It has been three days, plenty of time for him to have his little freak out or what not. I have been tracking his Jumper ever since he left; don’t think I haven’t learned since Ford. So I know where he is and have a vague idea where he must be heading. Silly him that planet he is nearing has a gate, so I’ll be there waiting before he even arrives.
Now I may have pulled Ford’s own move in heading to that planet, and I hated Elizabeth’s pained look on my way out, but she has to understand that I’m getting him back, for everyone, for Atlantis, and for me.
***
Oh my god. He came for me. I know it is him. What am I going to say? I still don’t know what made me leave in the first place. How could he forgive me for leaving him? How am I even going to get out of this seat, I feel like lead is weighing me down, with either fear or relief, I can’t tell.
Here he comes, standing in front of the Jumper and yelling at me. God he looks so pissed and hopeful. I don’t move, but I open up the back. He runs around and enters. I stand up and turn to look at him. He stands there for a second just staring. Then I’m running to him and hugging him, kissing his face.
“I’m so sorry. I’ll never leave again. I promise.”
“I believe you. Let’s go home.”
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no subject
on 2006-06-02 01:11 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-06-02 01:23 am (UTC)