Beginning of story called Means Nothing
Sep. 2nd, 2006 04:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
libra_travellerTitle: Means Nothing
Author: libra_traveller
Character: Rodney McKay
Rating: PG
Summary: At the end of one adventure, a new one begins.
Author’s Note I realize the ships could actually reach him, but since that sort of ruins the plot I’m pretending that no ships have hyperspace capability. Just go with it.
Another world, another group of friendly people with a low technological state. They only made enough food to feed themselves, and they were pretty healthy so they did not really need any medical supplies. It also seemed their solar system was out of the way, the Wraith not known to bother them. In the end, the team was told that their people could stay with them if they ever had need. Major Sheppard ordered his team back through the gate. They waved goodbye to their new friends. Rodney McKay was the last to step up to the gate, Sheppard right in front of him by less than a foot. Right before Rodney walked through, there was an explosion that shook the platform. Rodney fell down to his knees and watched as the gate deactivated. A second explosion was felt, and Rodney turned to see the DHD crystals shatter and its base topple to the ground. Shards flew towards him and he ducked, only being hit with a small piece that scratched a thin line from his cheekbone to his ear. Sitting up, he looked around and saw that none of the villagers had been hurt. He stood up and walked towards the DHD to see the damage done. All that was left of the crystals from inside were black slivers in the grass.
Rodney sat down in the grass and stared at the black marks there. He knew enough not to touch any of the shards as they would be extremely hot. He heard a villager come up to him, who then lightly touched his arms. Rodney shuddered, a silent tear falling from his left eye down to his jaw and dropping in the burnt grass. This was it. No more Atlantis, no more possibility of seeing Earth when he had a free moment. This planet that was so far away that not even the Wraith would venture out to it, was on the far fringes of the galaxy. It would take even the Asgard ships five years to reach him. He would not give out hope if it was not for the fact that the closest planet with a stargate was three years out of reach in an Asgard ship, not to mention the stargates are too small to fit one of them. There was no way that anyone would put in the effort, and that kind of time to get to him. And in ten years even if they did, who knew what might have changed. Who knew how he might have changed.
The woman who touched him, kneeled down and wiped the tears off his face. Her name was Maria, she had been very kind to him during their visit, being one of the first to welcome the strangers, as they had not had visitors in their long history, though they had records of their Stargate having the ability to reach great places in the universe. Rodney turned to her and looked in her eyes. The sympathy undid him and he collapsed in her arms and cried for everything he had lost.
Finally when his sobs slowed down, she pulled him up and led him away from the destruction of the DHD. He walked past the staring men and women, barely seeing their expressions. He heard whispers and could gather that not all of them were happy about their new permanent guest. He barely cared. Rodney wanted to think that his life was not over, that he still had a few decades ahead of him to enjoy but the thought of making a home in this place he had only just discovered… he was in too much shock to contemplate it. The further they walked away, the easier he could breathe, as the smell of burnt crystals had lessened. The street they followed had bricks mortared in the ground. He focused on them instead of his heartache.
Maria led him to her house made of bricks with pretty blue shutters on the windows. It had a wood porch with a rocking chair on it. Inside, the house was quaint and she had him sit in a chair by a fireplace though it was spring and was not in use. “I’m sorry for your loss.” Maria handed him a small mug with tea in it.
“So am I. Um, thanks for back there, comforting me and all. You’re being really nice, hope you know you’re stuck with me now.” Rodney tried to show a little humor, but it felt forced and the tea was hard to swallow past the pain.
“You’re no problem, I mean that. I’m here for you, whatever you need, however long you need it. I know it will be hard for a long time. I was an orphan when I was little, forced to live with a family I just met after my parents died. It was years before I felt like I fit, that it was home. So I don’t expect you to ever think of this as home, I just hope that the pain lessens in time.” Maria sat down in a chair near him and picked up some sweater she had been knitting for herself, trying not to look at his eyes. She had rarely talked to anyone about the loss of her parents as everyone already knew.
“That’s really nice. Caring so much about a stranger.” Rodney scratched his neck. “I guess I should warn you, for awhile I’m probably going to feel really bitter about being stuck here. And I’m not the kindest of people, so if I ever offend you in the future, I’m sorry.” He sipped his drink and looked at the mantle where there were sketches of a young man and woman with a little child in their arms. “Is that you, the little girl?”
Looking up, Maria swallowed. “Yes. That is me, and my adopted parents. After my parents had died and they took me in, I wanted a picture made of me with them, in case I were to lose them too, which I eventually did, but only to old age and not the fire that killed my mother and father.” She took a deep breath and tried to keep her hands steady as she knitted.
“That was smart of you. Having something to keep, I guess I can understand the need. You look hopeful, but scared. I can understand that too. God, I really should stop talking. I don’t mean to be so intrusive.” Rodney looked down into his hands.
“No, it’s okay, really. I kind of enjoy having someone to share my past with. I haven’t in awhile. Not with anyone but my brother that is.” She looked up at his confused look. “After I was adopted, my new parents had a little boy.”
Rodney nodded. “I have a sister. Which I’ll never see now. Funny, I had planned to be a better brother, keep in contact, now I’ll never have that chance. Should never have lost that closeness in the first place. Forgot how precious it was.”
“I’m sure she will miss you, no matter the troubles you’ve had.” Maria put the knitting down. “Perhaps you would like to take a nap while I cook dinner. You can stay with me for as long as you need, and if you are not comfortable here I will help you make arrangements to stay with someone else until we can build you your own place.”
Rodney stood up and handed her the mug. “Alright, if I’m going to stare off in space might as well do it lying down.” He tried to joke, but it came off bleak.
Maria showed him to an extra room and bed. He lay down and did just what he thought, stared into space, rarely blinking, thinking on all the people he would never see again. It was almost surprising to realize how big the list was on the side of all the ones he wanted to see again. Eventually he must have fallen asleep, because he was waking up from a dream where he was on Atlantis convincing everyone that it would be crazy to not come rescue him no matter how many years it would take, and they looked at him sadly, mouthing sorry and leaving the room.
She touched his shoulder, softly telling him dinner was ready. He got up groggily and followed her out of the room. At the table, was some bread and a soup. He tasted it, and though he was almost positive it was spicy, it tasted bland. Now that he thought about it, everything seemed dimmer than yesterday when he had visited the place with his team. He started to wonder if he would ever see and feel as lighthearted as he had, or if everything would always be muted, tinged in grayness.
He went back to bed, trying to notice the details in the room. It all blurred and he desperately missed his quarters on Atlantis. He cried himself to sleep, murmuring to himself that at least no one had died as far as he knew. It was possible his teammates had made it back to Atlantis and were feeling the loss of him. He would not dare imagine that they had disappeared between gates. It was too horrible a thought.
When he woke up he felt disoriented, forgetting where he was and his predicament. He stood out of bed and staggered through the door. As he neared the fireplace and the picture on the mantle, it all came back to him, and he gasped. He was stuck with no way of getting back home. He fell boneless into one of the chairs. What was he going to do? Live out the rest of his life on this backwater planet? There was nothing else he could do.
A sting watered his eyes and he put his hand up to his cheek, only now remembering where he was hit. Rodney wondered why Maria had not mentioned it. He took his hand away and there was only a little bit of blood, most of it clotted by now. He went to the washroom and splashed a little bit of water on it. He knew he should go to his pack and get out a Bandaid and some Neosporin, but right now he really could not bring himself to care about getting an infection or preventing a scar. Maybe if he let it alone it would scar, and be something to always remember this moment by, so he would never forgot while living this sham life, that he was part of something grander once.
Instead he went to his pack and grabbed some clothes, he had one pair that was clean, he would have to get used to cleaning his clothes in buckets of water. It was early in the morning when he walked out of Maria’s home without waking her. He vaguely recalled the long walk to where the Gate was. He headed in that direction. He passed some villagers who gave him sympathetic looks, but he tried to ignore them. At one point, he became confused and asked a woman where the gate was, and she gestured toward an alley leading out of the village. He headed that way and finally he was away from the place that would become his home, as much as he cringed at the thought.
The path was lined with weeds. Rodney watched his feet move, his eyes blurring until he did not know where he was or what he was doing, but his feet kept up their march without his direction. Eventually he found himself where the gate laid on its side, something he had barely noticed before, instead focused on the broken DHD. This time, he walked around the fallen gate, seeing the broken chevrons. He wondered what could have caused this explosion, but it was only an afterthought, because nothing mattered except that his adventure was over. The adventure he had enjoyed with newly found friends, all done, leaving him with people he had only talked with briefly, brief compared to the months he had spent getting to know the scientists he had worked with, and the soldiers that had protected him. Perhaps even two years was not long enough, if he were to be left with only their memory. He desperately wanted that life back, but he was a pragmatist and knew the best plan was to move on. So he turned his back on the broken gate, the broken journey home.
He headed back to the village with determination thrumming beneath his skin. He would make a new life, one he could be satisfied with. When he was younger he dreamed of having his own family that he could spend his days being happy with. Later when he was older he gave up that dream for one of exploration. Well, he was given that dream when he went to Atlantis. There was no reason why he could not have his other dream, could live each day only concerned with taking care of some little one. Sure it might be difficult to find someone who would want to spend the rest of their life with him, but if he waited patiently it could happen.
When Rodney entered the village through the alley, he smiled at the villagers he passed. This surprised them, perhaps even confused them, but they smiled gamely back at him. One older man stepped forward, “Would you like a second tour of the village, since this will be your home now?”
Rodney gazed at him, pondering. “In fact, I would. I did not take a proper look yesterday.” He smiled his most friendly smile, the one that he rarely used, and walked beside the man.
Author: libra_traveller
Character: Rodney McKay
Rating: PG
Summary: At the end of one adventure, a new one begins.
Author’s Note I realize the ships could actually reach him, but since that sort of ruins the plot I’m pretending that no ships have hyperspace capability. Just go with it.
Another world, another group of friendly people with a low technological state. They only made enough food to feed themselves, and they were pretty healthy so they did not really need any medical supplies. It also seemed their solar system was out of the way, the Wraith not known to bother them. In the end, the team was told that their people could stay with them if they ever had need. Major Sheppard ordered his team back through the gate. They waved goodbye to their new friends. Rodney McKay was the last to step up to the gate, Sheppard right in front of him by less than a foot. Right before Rodney walked through, there was an explosion that shook the platform. Rodney fell down to his knees and watched as the gate deactivated. A second explosion was felt, and Rodney turned to see the DHD crystals shatter and its base topple to the ground. Shards flew towards him and he ducked, only being hit with a small piece that scratched a thin line from his cheekbone to his ear. Sitting up, he looked around and saw that none of the villagers had been hurt. He stood up and walked towards the DHD to see the damage done. All that was left of the crystals from inside were black slivers in the grass.
Rodney sat down in the grass and stared at the black marks there. He knew enough not to touch any of the shards as they would be extremely hot. He heard a villager come up to him, who then lightly touched his arms. Rodney shuddered, a silent tear falling from his left eye down to his jaw and dropping in the burnt grass. This was it. No more Atlantis, no more possibility of seeing Earth when he had a free moment. This planet that was so far away that not even the Wraith would venture out to it, was on the far fringes of the galaxy. It would take even the Asgard ships five years to reach him. He would not give out hope if it was not for the fact that the closest planet with a stargate was three years out of reach in an Asgard ship, not to mention the stargates are too small to fit one of them. There was no way that anyone would put in the effort, and that kind of time to get to him. And in ten years even if they did, who knew what might have changed. Who knew how he might have changed.
The woman who touched him, kneeled down and wiped the tears off his face. Her name was Maria, she had been very kind to him during their visit, being one of the first to welcome the strangers, as they had not had visitors in their long history, though they had records of their Stargate having the ability to reach great places in the universe. Rodney turned to her and looked in her eyes. The sympathy undid him and he collapsed in her arms and cried for everything he had lost.
Finally when his sobs slowed down, she pulled him up and led him away from the destruction of the DHD. He walked past the staring men and women, barely seeing their expressions. He heard whispers and could gather that not all of them were happy about their new permanent guest. He barely cared. Rodney wanted to think that his life was not over, that he still had a few decades ahead of him to enjoy but the thought of making a home in this place he had only just discovered… he was in too much shock to contemplate it. The further they walked away, the easier he could breathe, as the smell of burnt crystals had lessened. The street they followed had bricks mortared in the ground. He focused on them instead of his heartache.
Maria led him to her house made of bricks with pretty blue shutters on the windows. It had a wood porch with a rocking chair on it. Inside, the house was quaint and she had him sit in a chair by a fireplace though it was spring and was not in use. “I’m sorry for your loss.” Maria handed him a small mug with tea in it.
“So am I. Um, thanks for back there, comforting me and all. You’re being really nice, hope you know you’re stuck with me now.” Rodney tried to show a little humor, but it felt forced and the tea was hard to swallow past the pain.
“You’re no problem, I mean that. I’m here for you, whatever you need, however long you need it. I know it will be hard for a long time. I was an orphan when I was little, forced to live with a family I just met after my parents died. It was years before I felt like I fit, that it was home. So I don’t expect you to ever think of this as home, I just hope that the pain lessens in time.” Maria sat down in a chair near him and picked up some sweater she had been knitting for herself, trying not to look at his eyes. She had rarely talked to anyone about the loss of her parents as everyone already knew.
“That’s really nice. Caring so much about a stranger.” Rodney scratched his neck. “I guess I should warn you, for awhile I’m probably going to feel really bitter about being stuck here. And I’m not the kindest of people, so if I ever offend you in the future, I’m sorry.” He sipped his drink and looked at the mantle where there were sketches of a young man and woman with a little child in their arms. “Is that you, the little girl?”
Looking up, Maria swallowed. “Yes. That is me, and my adopted parents. After my parents had died and they took me in, I wanted a picture made of me with them, in case I were to lose them too, which I eventually did, but only to old age and not the fire that killed my mother and father.” She took a deep breath and tried to keep her hands steady as she knitted.
“That was smart of you. Having something to keep, I guess I can understand the need. You look hopeful, but scared. I can understand that too. God, I really should stop talking. I don’t mean to be so intrusive.” Rodney looked down into his hands.
“No, it’s okay, really. I kind of enjoy having someone to share my past with. I haven’t in awhile. Not with anyone but my brother that is.” She looked up at his confused look. “After I was adopted, my new parents had a little boy.”
Rodney nodded. “I have a sister. Which I’ll never see now. Funny, I had planned to be a better brother, keep in contact, now I’ll never have that chance. Should never have lost that closeness in the first place. Forgot how precious it was.”
“I’m sure she will miss you, no matter the troubles you’ve had.” Maria put the knitting down. “Perhaps you would like to take a nap while I cook dinner. You can stay with me for as long as you need, and if you are not comfortable here I will help you make arrangements to stay with someone else until we can build you your own place.”
Rodney stood up and handed her the mug. “Alright, if I’m going to stare off in space might as well do it lying down.” He tried to joke, but it came off bleak.
Maria showed him to an extra room and bed. He lay down and did just what he thought, stared into space, rarely blinking, thinking on all the people he would never see again. It was almost surprising to realize how big the list was on the side of all the ones he wanted to see again. Eventually he must have fallen asleep, because he was waking up from a dream where he was on Atlantis convincing everyone that it would be crazy to not come rescue him no matter how many years it would take, and they looked at him sadly, mouthing sorry and leaving the room.
She touched his shoulder, softly telling him dinner was ready. He got up groggily and followed her out of the room. At the table, was some bread and a soup. He tasted it, and though he was almost positive it was spicy, it tasted bland. Now that he thought about it, everything seemed dimmer than yesterday when he had visited the place with his team. He started to wonder if he would ever see and feel as lighthearted as he had, or if everything would always be muted, tinged in grayness.
He went back to bed, trying to notice the details in the room. It all blurred and he desperately missed his quarters on Atlantis. He cried himself to sleep, murmuring to himself that at least no one had died as far as he knew. It was possible his teammates had made it back to Atlantis and were feeling the loss of him. He would not dare imagine that they had disappeared between gates. It was too horrible a thought.
When he woke up he felt disoriented, forgetting where he was and his predicament. He stood out of bed and staggered through the door. As he neared the fireplace and the picture on the mantle, it all came back to him, and he gasped. He was stuck with no way of getting back home. He fell boneless into one of the chairs. What was he going to do? Live out the rest of his life on this backwater planet? There was nothing else he could do.
A sting watered his eyes and he put his hand up to his cheek, only now remembering where he was hit. Rodney wondered why Maria had not mentioned it. He took his hand away and there was only a little bit of blood, most of it clotted by now. He went to the washroom and splashed a little bit of water on it. He knew he should go to his pack and get out a Bandaid and some Neosporin, but right now he really could not bring himself to care about getting an infection or preventing a scar. Maybe if he let it alone it would scar, and be something to always remember this moment by, so he would never forgot while living this sham life, that he was part of something grander once.
Instead he went to his pack and grabbed some clothes, he had one pair that was clean, he would have to get used to cleaning his clothes in buckets of water. It was early in the morning when he walked out of Maria’s home without waking her. He vaguely recalled the long walk to where the Gate was. He headed in that direction. He passed some villagers who gave him sympathetic looks, but he tried to ignore them. At one point, he became confused and asked a woman where the gate was, and she gestured toward an alley leading out of the village. He headed that way and finally he was away from the place that would become his home, as much as he cringed at the thought.
The path was lined with weeds. Rodney watched his feet move, his eyes blurring until he did not know where he was or what he was doing, but his feet kept up their march without his direction. Eventually he found himself where the gate laid on its side, something he had barely noticed before, instead focused on the broken DHD. This time, he walked around the fallen gate, seeing the broken chevrons. He wondered what could have caused this explosion, but it was only an afterthought, because nothing mattered except that his adventure was over. The adventure he had enjoyed with newly found friends, all done, leaving him with people he had only talked with briefly, brief compared to the months he had spent getting to know the scientists he had worked with, and the soldiers that had protected him. Perhaps even two years was not long enough, if he were to be left with only their memory. He desperately wanted that life back, but he was a pragmatist and knew the best plan was to move on. So he turned his back on the broken gate, the broken journey home.
He headed back to the village with determination thrumming beneath his skin. He would make a new life, one he could be satisfied with. When he was younger he dreamed of having his own family that he could spend his days being happy with. Later when he was older he gave up that dream for one of exploration. Well, he was given that dream when he went to Atlantis. There was no reason why he could not have his other dream, could live each day only concerned with taking care of some little one. Sure it might be difficult to find someone who would want to spend the rest of their life with him, but if he waited patiently it could happen.
When Rodney entered the village through the alley, he smiled at the villagers he passed. This surprised them, perhaps even confused them, but they smiled gamely back at him. One older man stepped forward, “Would you like a second tour of the village, since this will be your home now?”
Rodney gazed at him, pondering. “In fact, I would. I did not take a proper look yesterday.” He smiled his most friendly smile, the one that he rarely used, and walked beside the man.